Wes @ Play

The Shiny Thing

Scott and I taught ourselves how to gild things this summer, so we've been gradually applying this to different objects: my wallet, his chaps, some of the rocks in the backyard, etc.

It's not nearly as difficult to do an "okay" job as you might think, although the cost of materials is still high, especially for real gold leaf. I've been using aluminum leaf instead of silver just to avoid the tarnishing and expense. I'll post some examples shortly.

Tower of Bamboo

What does Wes do when he's bored or Scott needs a break from keeping me amused? He builds a 17' tower of cheap bamboo poles and covers them with green christmas lights.

2007 Resolutions

1. Marry for money
For some reason, my boss blurted this out at a meeting one day, so I've decided to keep this open as an option. Since I'll basically date anyone that can hold my attention for more than 20 seconds, this should be pretty easy despite the fact that if I find out someone "successful" is just another spoiled trust fund brat, I'll torture them.

2. Be thrifty
Spend more time at home cleaning my floors, making fun constructions, and writing my book. I'll probably also concentrate on my job in the coming year, whatever it ends up being.

3. Get a cat
I can't believe I still haven't adopted a kitty. Scott is "like kitty," but it's just not the same.

International Mr. Leather 2007
Yes, Scott and I are finally going to Chicago to attend IML 2007 May 24-28. We're staying a couple of extra days for sightseeing and recovery. I did this mostly because of my pal Luis at Renegades, who will also be there.

Am I into leather? No. Do I like to attend gay events and then observe and take notes? Yes! And this is a big one. There are supposed to be more than 15,000 attendees from around the planet. That's a lot of leather (and luggage). I'm taking some of my rope along just to see how people will react.

I actually can't wait to attend. I used to spend my summer in Chicago on the northside (Granville station) when I was a kid, so I want to see what's changed and maybe drop in on some old family friends.

The Rope Bondage Thing (Shibari)

I was originally going to take this down, but my photo is ranked #5 in Google because I think I'm the only male shown in a harness, and I'm nothing if not into gender equality.

In the latter half of last year, I became fascinated by knots, mostly because a) I wasn't allowed to become a Boy Scout by my parents (they thought it was fascist) and therefore don't know how to tie even basic knots, and b) I was bored out of my mind.

Luis, one of the bartenders from Renegades, showed me some of the knots he had learned in relation to rope bondage SM play. I am definitely not into SM, but I thought I could use them to figure out how far I could take my interest. My friend Scott joined in, and bought two 50' lengths of nylon rope and an illustrated book on sailing knots. The rest has been an odd mix of using knots traditionally used for ship rigging in unusual ways and discovering how to use those knots on people.

The most important goal to me was, of course, that the results be nice to look at (see photo above; yes, that's me in some nylon rope and electroluminescent wires). They had to have structure, strength, and be quick to tie. So far, the results have been good but not great. I did succeed in tying a rope harness which I thought met all of the requirements—it actually tightened with a simple pull to one knotted strand—but that was a bit of a fluke since I improvise a great deal. Here is a photo of someone I tied up about six months ago. He enjoyed it, I think; I just felt like "daddy."

In early November, Scott and I will take a Shibari class by Midori in San Francisco, who is very well known in rope bondage circles. In that class, we'll learn about suspension, which I haven't tried due to the fact that you can kill your subject if you don't know what you're doing. That would be bad.

Post Rope Dojo update
After the classes this past weekend with Midori, my understanding of how social customs are used to mask submissive and dominant behavior are inifinitely clearer. How I interact with my boyfriend, my bartender, my boss at work, my neighbors...it all comes down to who you consider a peer and who you consider "the enemy." Call it an epiphany, call it paying attention, call it in to your mother on a payphone. The end result is good.

My relationship with Scott has grown stronger or at least clearer. It's hard not to get caught up in the honesty displayed by the other students, and part of it also stems from my admiration for what Midori was attempting to convey indirectly to the class. She is far, far more Japanese than I am in that respect.

For 4-5 glorious seconds, my relationship and my role within that relationship were laid bare—basically how we’ve both subverted their interests and needs for the past 12 months and replaced them with a sadistic game of one-upsmanship. Is there love there? Yes. Is it the kind of love I was looking for? Nope.

To an outsider like myself, it appears that the SM community has managed to oust many of the ridiculous courtship games we play. This isn't unexpected, given that a mistake in their case can mean literally eating shit. Literally. Choosing poorly in my world means suffering through a dinner with a human doorknob; choosing badly in a bondage or SM scene could mean permanent mutilation, paralysis, or death. Why they would want to do this, I do not know. But as my mother would say, it's good to have a hobby.

The rope is still interesting to me. I definitely have a "fetish" for technique (or as the Chinese say "kung fu"), which I think is the real fetish of Japanese...the appreciation and idolization of skillful craftsmanship, not process. I'll be buying some nicely finished hemp rope, tying up a few volunteers, and hopefully becoming proficient if not masterful.

If you have a chance to attend one of Midori's rope dojos, I obviously highly recommend it. It wasn't at all what I thought it would be.

Update 11/11/2006 - We took a class from Waldermer at The Citadel on suspension, but we ran late and ended up as observers. Just as well since there were only two other gay men there. The class was fine; he covered all of the basics and we learned a bit more about safety and technique, but nothing really matches Midori's style. I see the logic in her teaching now...speed, technique, and practicality.

Where to Get Rope for Bondage - It's true that the best rope is probably what you get from a shibari instructor. It should be strong, not stretch, and not have a solid core. I get almost all of my rope from Home Depot, which has a good selection of nylon rope at a reasonable cost. Midori mentioned in her class that magician's rope is also a good choice.

The downside to using nylon rope is that it stretches, so take that into consideration when you're tying someone, especially if they will be suspended.

The good part about nylon is that it's cheap, fairly easy to tie, and soft to the touch. Since I have a bad habit of giving away the rope I use to tie someone, the cost is an important factor.